Natural Born Riffers

Mar 25
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“ R. Kelly: yeah, i mean, i’m on the biggest dry spell of my sexual career, i haven’t had a bitch touch my penis since september, shit hasn’t been like this since like eight grade … for christ’s sake. that is no exaggeration either
Sweetness: yeah man. did you ever get rid of that stage-5 clinger? i call her ‘The Sleep Over’
R. Kelly: haha. no.
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Mar 24
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“ Today’s news update. Roadside Braces Raise White Male Boycott Privacy.
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Mar 23
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“ Dude, you wanna get high and walk through the projects?
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  • Friend: ill look forward to your call
  • Asshole: i'll look backward on your life and scream
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  • Doctor: lots of freshly stocked babies though
  • Nurse: oooh -- delicious
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Dream a little dream

  • Stanford Montique: HHEEELLOOOO
  • Stanford Montique: you appeared to me in a dream last night
  • Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: did i kill you in it?
  • Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: bc i would like to
  • Stanford Montique: not so much that as, well, im still trying to figure things out
  • Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: from your dream?
  • Stanford Montique: yeah, i woke up confused
  • Stanford Montique: and a little, well, erect
  • Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: ahahahahathatmakesmewishiwasdead
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Mar 21
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“ Now I try to eat only organic bullets.
— His Holiness the Birchy Lama
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“ i have carefully placed your auntie’s pubic bones in a magical pentagon shape around my crotch. i believe this way, Lwexnor will give me an Immaculate Orgasm which will magically repair my credit and rescue my shattered sense of self worth and crushed fibula. I am awating Your vibes, oh Lwexnor!
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Mar 20
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Taking the escalator?

  • Hispaniola: meow
  • Andre 3000: kafka
  • Hispaniola: general burnside
  • Andre 3000: generous sidebeards
  • Hispaniola: generational sky bears
  • Andre 3000: angelina jolie and the sky captian of yesterfortnightsicles
  • Hispaniola: skipping geronimo and the seeking cranes of north tambooty
  • Andre 3000: peptobismalians of diet xero calorie nfl sponsorhips cherry david seeds with natural lights youtube wings from lansing, alabama smoking winston-salem, massacho-choo-choozits university class of 2007 horsepower
  • Hispaniola: cunt-gina
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