March 2008
21 posts
“R. Kelly: yeah, i mean, i’m on the biggest dry spell of my sexual career,...”
“Today’s news update. Roadside Braces Raise White Male Boycott Privacy.”
“Dude, you wanna get high and walk through the projects?”
Friend: ill look forward to your call
Asshole: i'll look backward on your life and scream
Doctor: lots of freshly stocked babies though
Nurse: oooh -- delicious
Dream a little dream
Stanford Montique: HHEEELLOOOO
Stanford Montique: you appeared to me in a dream last night
Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: did i kill you in it?
Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: bc i would like to
Stanford Montique: not so much that as, well, im still trying to figure things out
Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: from your dream?
Stanford Montique: yeah, i woke up confused
Stanford Montique: and a little, well, erect
Quagmeyer P. Rockefeller: ahahahahathatmakesmewishiwasdead
“Now I try to eat only organic bullets.”
– His Holiness the Birchy Lama
“i have carefully placed your auntie’s pubic bones in a magical pentagon...”
Taking the escalator?
Hispaniola: meow
Andre 3000: kafka
Hispaniola: general burnside
Andre 3000: generous sidebeards
Hispaniola: generational sky bears
Andre 3000: angelina jolie and the sky captian of yesterfortnightsicles
Hispaniola: skipping geronimo and the seeking cranes of north tambooty
Andre 3000: peptobismalians of diet xero calorie nfl sponsorhips cherry david seeds with natural lights youtube wings from lansing, alabama smoking winston-salem, massacho-choo-choozits university class of 2007 horsepower
Hispaniola: cunt-gina
Pencil me in for a toke
Zanzibar: I was getting really frustrated with work bullshit, and was already scheduling getting high later today
Billy Joel: right on. well, we can chat about this in person later, seeing as how we are a few feet from each other
Zanzibar: right. later on. ...if I think of anything, I'll just shout "weed?" across the (public place)
Billy Joel: awesome idea
I know I’m a guy, but… I think I just queefed?
I'm Cuban, B!
Captain America: yes, cuban bean
Elian Gonzalez: i dropped little cuban beans all over your auntie's bed
Elian Gonzalez: it looked like she had a pet rabbit
Captain America: cuban jumping beans?
Captain America: they are different from mexican jumping beans in that they jump into cardboard boats and then drown in the gulf of mexico
Colonel Sanders: I SMITE THEE!!
Colonel Sanders: with a rubber hammer and some lipstick
“coughwe’restrictlynotgaycough”
Fiddy-Centsitve
Dick Cheney: some of this stuff is going to get really incensitive
Dick Cheney: *sensitive
Chelsea Clinton: i like censitive
Chelsea Clinton: like 50 Centsitive
Chelsea Clinton: he should do a mellow romatic album and name it that
Dick Cheney: ahahahahaha
Dick Cheney: yes yes yes
Chelsea Clinton: mellow and romantic with songs like, "I Wanna Put Glock In Your Cunt"
Dick Cheney: and shoot"
Chelsea Clinton: "I Date Raped Your Step-Sister (In Da Club)"
Chelsea Clinton: hahahaha
Dick Cheney: ahahahaha
Chelsea Clinton: wow, the multiple levels of that glock and shoot is killing me
“Hey, Red Ranger, not sure if this was the right place to let you know, but you...”
– Green Ranger
We should make movies, as if to produce comedy...
Princess Diana: dood, things are looking up, i'd say
Harry Potter: indeed they are, indeed... they... are... (stares off into the distance, appearing deep in thought)
Princess Diana: stares off up into the air, as if to look up
Harry Potter: punches Diana in the groin, as if to groin punch, then sprints away
Princess Diana: as if to sprint away
Harry Potter: i feel like that joke could just work in every situations, as if to function in all situations
Princess Diana: ahahahahaha, as if to laugh heartily, as if to go on forever, as if to go on forever, as if to go on forever
Harry Potter: seriosuly.... we need to stop, as if we were no longer continuing
Princess Diana: must. resist. temptation.
Harry Potter: as if-NO! stop.
Princess Diana: we should make movies, i still contend ... as if to contend continuously ... damn it
Screw it.
Norman Mailer: did i screw the pooch?
Charles Lindbergh: am i the pooch?
Norman Mailer: yes
Charles Lindbergh: then no
How would you draw attention?
Cat Stevens: i just drew attention to myself with that little lol
Yusuf Islam: ahahahaha, oops
Cat Stevens: shhh. how would you draw attention?
Cat Stevens: erect penii
Yusuf Islam: haha, all orderly facing a chalkboard
Reminds you of what?
Elton John: GOD SAMIT! why must you be so cruel?
Scooby Doo: AIDS
Elton John: oh man, that reminds me ...